Homeschooling by its very nature comes with a lot of 'stuff' - schoolbooks, storybooks, craft supplies, science kits, history projects, books, books and more books! Add to that the fact that many of us are teaching 2, 3, 4 or more kids and you can imagine how much 'stuff' we can accumulate. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not really into the streamlined look of Pottery Barn. I love trinkets and color and collections, so it might seem odd that I have really been trying to embrace the idea of simplicity this Lent. It started with the regular feeling of being overwhelmed with the housework that many of us experience. In the midst of all the work it dawned on me that I spend much of my time organizing, cleaning and straightening up 'stuff'! Now I am not about to get rid of it all, but clearly when I begin to feel overwhelmed it is time to revisit each room and really try to weed out a bit. I mentioned in yesterday's post that I try to stick to a 10-minute cleanup rule. If I can't regularly straighten up a room in 10 minutes, even after it has been well organized, then it is too cluttered. Either way, I try to have regular decluttering and organizing sessions at our house - usually 2 or 3 times a year. There is something about this time of year that inspires me to let go. Let go of the stuff. Let go of the feeling of being overwhelmed. Let go of those things that are holding me back.
The problem is that it is hard to let go. I find that I often come face to face with fear. Fear that I might get rid of something and then need it. Fear that I might not have the money to purchase something when I need it. So my inclination is to hold on to everything that I might ever need! But then I wonder if I am trusting God. I once heard another homeschooling mom say that she never held on to stuff she would not use in the next year or two. She instead chose to trust that if God's will for her was to continue down this path, he would provide all that she needed. WOW! Did I have a big aha moment! It is one thing to be thrifty but we can really cross the line of not trusting in our Heavenly Father to provide all of the gifts he promises us, all in the name of frugality. Was I being prepared or simply fearful?
This morning I opened up "In Conversations with God" and much to my amazement this is the first line I read: "In this period of Lent the Church in this regard calls out to us frequently so that me may disengage ourselves from the things of this earth, and thus fill our hearts with God." OK, now I'm starting to get it. It's not so much about getting rid of all my stuff, though that helps tremendously. It's about being detached from the things of this world - my stuff. Detachment increases our capacity for loving God and others. Detachment makes us more aware of our desperate need for God. Detachment calls forth from us a generosity of spirit.
I thought God was prompting me to Simplicity this Lent, but now I think I need to add Detachment to that list. It may take a lifetime of Lents...
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Getting It All Done
OK, so the title of this post is a bit misleading. It implies that I get 'IT' all done. In fact much of 'IT' never gets done, at least when it comes to housework. I think I iron once a year - well slightly more often, but not much. And I found out today that a year is too long to wait to clean the ceiling fan in the kitchen.
When people find out I homeschool, the first question I often get asked is how I get it all done. So my first answer is usually, "I don't." I have, however, picked up a few tricks along the way, most of which I stole from Flylady. I am not a faithful follower; I do not follow her schedule every day, I spend too much of the day in PJ's and my sink hardly ever shines. (If this is all Greek to you, check out Flylady's website and you'll soon understand.)
But I have learned some valuable lessons from her. My favorite is the10-minute cleanup. When the house seems a wreck, I set the timer for 10 minutes and concentrate on one room. Usually I start in the Living Room since that is the first room people enter. I clear that room till the timer goes off - never leaving to put things away. This is the key! It is so easy to get distracted in another room. Instead, I place the things to go away in another room, in the doorway of that room. For instance, if there are a pair of my sneakers in the LR, I place them just inside the door of my room, NEVER ENTERING THE ROOM. This way there is no room for distraction. It is amazing how much I can get done in 10 minutes. I do this in each room of the house for as long as I have. Voila! The house is usually clean in about an hour! (some rooms take only 5 minutes). If we are having a party or company and more needs to be done, the whole family chips in. Multiply 10 minutes for each family member (ok - more like 5 minutes for 6-year olds) subtract a few minutes for bickering and another few for keeping track of a 2-year old, and the time really adds up.
The other thing I've learned much about from Flylady is decluttering. For instance, if it takes me more than 10 minutes to routinely pick up a room, it is too cluttered. Time to drop a few bags off at Goodwill. When it comes to the kid's room, when it gets out of control and they need to declutter, I give them each 3 bags. They have to fill one with garbage, one with stuff to put away in other rooms and one with give away stuff.
Well, there is a meltdown happening in the other room, so I'd better go. Check out flylady when you get a chance and remember that you're never going to get 'IT' all done. Just try your best!
When people find out I homeschool, the first question I often get asked is how I get it all done. So my first answer is usually, "I don't." I have, however, picked up a few tricks along the way, most of which I stole from Flylady. I am not a faithful follower; I do not follow her schedule every day, I spend too much of the day in PJ's and my sink hardly ever shines. (If this is all Greek to you, check out Flylady's website and you'll soon understand.)
But I have learned some valuable lessons from her. My favorite is the10-minute cleanup. When the house seems a wreck, I set the timer for 10 minutes and concentrate on one room. Usually I start in the Living Room since that is the first room people enter. I clear that room till the timer goes off - never leaving to put things away. This is the key! It is so easy to get distracted in another room. Instead, I place the things to go away in another room, in the doorway of that room. For instance, if there are a pair of my sneakers in the LR, I place them just inside the door of my room, NEVER ENTERING THE ROOM. This way there is no room for distraction. It is amazing how much I can get done in 10 minutes. I do this in each room of the house for as long as I have. Voila! The house is usually clean in about an hour! (some rooms take only 5 minutes). If we are having a party or company and more needs to be done, the whole family chips in. Multiply 10 minutes for each family member (ok - more like 5 minutes for 6-year olds) subtract a few minutes for bickering and another few for keeping track of a 2-year old, and the time really adds up.
The other thing I've learned much about from Flylady is decluttering. For instance, if it takes me more than 10 minutes to routinely pick up a room, it is too cluttered. Time to drop a few bags off at Goodwill. When it comes to the kid's room, when it gets out of control and they need to declutter, I give them each 3 bags. They have to fill one with garbage, one with stuff to put away in other rooms and one with give away stuff.
Well, there is a meltdown happening in the other room, so I'd better go. Check out flylady when you get a chance and remember that you're never going to get 'IT' all done. Just try your best!
Happy Birthday Ben!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Why We Homeschool (Part 2)
I thought alot about homeschooling, even before I was married and had any children. I first heard about it on Focus on the Family many years ago and something about it just fascinated me. So when our first son was in pre-K, we started to talk more about it. Around the same time, his brother was born, and I just felt too overwhelmed to think about homeschooling. I didn't think I was organized enough and that I didn't have time with a newborn. Of course, now I look back and laugh. Any veteran homeschooling mom will tell you that Kindergarten takes all of about an hour a day! But of course, I did not know that at the time, so we decided to pursue other options.
We went to a couple of open houses at the local Catholic schools, but I was immediately turned off to the long days. Why the heck does a 5 year old need computers, Spanish, art and music in K? I mean we do art stuff at home and listen to music all day. I would rather he been in school for a few hours and just do the basics. Didn't anyone know about the 3 R's anymore? Though I never pictured my kids going to public school, I knew they only had half day Kindergarten, so we decided to pursue that option. And besides, we were in one of the highest rated districts in NJ. And we lived 5 houses and a path through the woods from the school. The only problem was that when we went to visit, I was turned off once again that the school was trying to accomplish too much at such a young age - only this time in a 2 1/2 hour day! That settled it for me. I figured we would just keep him home and teach him the basics, and hopefully teach them well.
Honestly, our decision was made without really reading anything about homeschooling. Over the next few months I did alot of research. I was surprised to find out that book after book was confirming our gut feeling - that it is better to teach the basics well and skip the 'fluff' - at least for now. What I also learned is that it is better to keep the formal education to a minimum at this age and let the child work at his or her own pace. Even now, as my second son is Kindergarten age, I do very little 'formal' sit at-the-desk kind of teaching. We spend a lot of time reading, which I've learned is really the best way for them to learn. Most of us were turned off to Science and History because they were taught from boring text books. So the backbone of our homeschooling is reading. We have a lot of books. And I do mean A LOT of books. I love a good book, and am quite picky about what my kids read. We do visit the library, however I find that the library gets rid of alot of their best books, mostly because many people prefer the newest Dora the Explorer book over the wonderful, old, falling apart books the library has had for decades. I learned to always bring a bag of quarters with us on our weekly visits, because we often came home with piles of discarded books! And an overflowing stroller! I think I lost most of my baby weight after Damian simply by pushing he and Christian and 20 pounds of books home from the library.
So we started on this journey we call homeschooling. We have since learned that it is not just a way to teach our children, but truly a way of life. Teaching extends far beyond the reaches of the kitchen table, which is the desktop for many a homeschooler.
We went to a couple of open houses at the local Catholic schools, but I was immediately turned off to the long days. Why the heck does a 5 year old need computers, Spanish, art and music in K? I mean we do art stuff at home and listen to music all day. I would rather he been in school for a few hours and just do the basics. Didn't anyone know about the 3 R's anymore? Though I never pictured my kids going to public school, I knew they only had half day Kindergarten, so we decided to pursue that option. And besides, we were in one of the highest rated districts in NJ. And we lived 5 houses and a path through the woods from the school. The only problem was that when we went to visit, I was turned off once again that the school was trying to accomplish too much at such a young age - only this time in a 2 1/2 hour day! That settled it for me. I figured we would just keep him home and teach him the basics, and hopefully teach them well.
Honestly, our decision was made without really reading anything about homeschooling. Over the next few months I did alot of research. I was surprised to find out that book after book was confirming our gut feeling - that it is better to teach the basics well and skip the 'fluff' - at least for now. What I also learned is that it is better to keep the formal education to a minimum at this age and let the child work at his or her own pace. Even now, as my second son is Kindergarten age, I do very little 'formal' sit at-the-desk kind of teaching. We spend a lot of time reading, which I've learned is really the best way for them to learn. Most of us were turned off to Science and History because they were taught from boring text books. So the backbone of our homeschooling is reading. We have a lot of books. And I do mean A LOT of books. I love a good book, and am quite picky about what my kids read. We do visit the library, however I find that the library gets rid of alot of their best books, mostly because many people prefer the newest Dora the Explorer book over the wonderful, old, falling apart books the library has had for decades. I learned to always bring a bag of quarters with us on our weekly visits, because we often came home with piles of discarded books! And an overflowing stroller! I think I lost most of my baby weight after Damian simply by pushing he and Christian and 20 pounds of books home from the library.
So we started on this journey we call homeschooling. We have since learned that it is not just a way to teach our children, but truly a way of life. Teaching extends far beyond the reaches of the kitchen table, which is the desktop for many a homeschooler.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Why We Homeschool (Part 1)
I called this part one, because I'm sure I'll end up rambling on and need part 2, 3 and 4!
I'd like to say we homeschool because we are striving to raise perfect children, but as anyone who knows me can tell you, my children are far from perfect. As a matter of fact, as I type this, they are in their rooms, forbidden to talk to each other for a while, because they have been bickering all afternoon. And the baby is sleeping, which is why I have more than 2 minutes to do anything.
Anyway, back to the point. We decided to homeschool for many reasons. If I could sum it up in one reason, I'd have to say it's because we simply felt that God was calling our family to do so. Of course there are a million other reasons, but when it came down to it, we really felt that this was how we were meant to live out family life. (Just had to take a break because, despite the ban on talking, I hear alot of noise from down the hall. "Not talking - just wrestling," Damian informs me. Just goes to prove my earlier point about my not so perfect children. Cute, but not perfect!) Our decision has had a tremendous impact on the other decisions we have made for our family. For example, Steve has chosen to start his own business with the hope that someday it will do well enough to allow him more time to help with teaching. For now, he starts work a bit late so that he can do math with the boys and keep Ben out of my hair long enough for me to get one on one time with Christian. As a result, he works many, many late nights.
Another decision we have made is to limit outside activities for our family. Steve and I teach NFP (Natural Family Planning - another post in and of itself!) and mentor engaged couples, primarily because we are passionate about it, but also because we can do so out of our home in the evenings. We feel we are serving the Church in a way that fits our gifts without taking away from our family time. We have turned down a number of responsibilities, including parish council positions, because it would mean too much time away from our family. So when we are asked to serve in some capacity, the two questions we ask are 1) can we do it together and 2) can we do it at our home, with our without the kids.
One more decision that we made, that I'm sure drives my family nuts, is that we do not answer the phone for a good part of the day. This is simply because hearing the phone ring has the same effect on my children that the recess bell has on school children. Enough said!
I'd like to say we homeschool because we are striving to raise perfect children, but as anyone who knows me can tell you, my children are far from perfect. As a matter of fact, as I type this, they are in their rooms, forbidden to talk to each other for a while, because they have been bickering all afternoon. And the baby is sleeping, which is why I have more than 2 minutes to do anything.
Anyway, back to the point. We decided to homeschool for many reasons. If I could sum it up in one reason, I'd have to say it's because we simply felt that God was calling our family to do so. Of course there are a million other reasons, but when it came down to it, we really felt that this was how we were meant to live out family life. (Just had to take a break because, despite the ban on talking, I hear alot of noise from down the hall. "Not talking - just wrestling," Damian informs me. Just goes to prove my earlier point about my not so perfect children. Cute, but not perfect!) Our decision has had a tremendous impact on the other decisions we have made for our family. For example, Steve has chosen to start his own business with the hope that someday it will do well enough to allow him more time to help with teaching. For now, he starts work a bit late so that he can do math with the boys and keep Ben out of my hair long enough for me to get one on one time with Christian. As a result, he works many, many late nights.
Another decision we have made is to limit outside activities for our family. Steve and I teach NFP (Natural Family Planning - another post in and of itself!) and mentor engaged couples, primarily because we are passionate about it, but also because we can do so out of our home in the evenings. We feel we are serving the Church in a way that fits our gifts without taking away from our family time. We have turned down a number of responsibilities, including parish council positions, because it would mean too much time away from our family. So when we are asked to serve in some capacity, the two questions we ask are 1) can we do it together and 2) can we do it at our home, with our without the kids.
One more decision that we made, that I'm sure drives my family nuts, is that we do not answer the phone for a good part of the day. This is simply because hearing the phone ring has the same effect on my children that the recess bell has on school children. Enough said!
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