I found myself in a situation last night where I was surrounded by four newlywed couples. A good part of the conversation revolved around travel. One couple had just gotten back from a trip to celebrate an anniversary, two were discussing planned trips out of the country and the other couple has family in Europe, where they travel regularly. My first thought? I really missed those pre-kid days when we could go wherever, whenever. I mean, we can't even go for a walk without having a sitter. (We've had some expensive walks since our kids were born.) And the fact is, even before we had kids we never really traveled. There was our honeymoon, of course, followed by a wedding in rural Ohio, and a vacation to New England. That was it. Then the kids started coming and the get-aways get further apart and closer to home.

I remember our honeymoon (was it really 13 years ago?). We were surprised at how many people knew we were on our honeymoon, without our even mentioning it. I guess it we had 'that glow' that we had about us. And the fact that we had no kids with us and were holding hands. And that we actually appeared to be happy in each other's company. We did meet a few cynical people who seemed doubtful that we would be that happy after 10 years of marriage. We made a decision then and there that we would return to Hawaii on our tenth anniversary and make everyone think we were honeymooners. Well, 10 years have come and gone, and we have yet to make that second honeymoon. In fact, we had an infant that year and were barely able to get a dinner out.

And so I dream that one day we may have the opportunity to travel and have that honeymoon; to hold hands, walking along the beach; to not have to rush back from a dinner because we cannot afford another hour out. But I don't want to dream away the here and now. The reality is that we have three boys who need us to be present to them each and every day. We cannot take a vacation from parenthood.

After 13 years of marriage, I have realized that sometimes the most meaningful conversation happens after the kids are finally settled down at 9:30 at night. Or in the car rides when the kids are listening to a story on CD, quiet for once. Or after dinner while they are taking baths. Don't get me wrong, I still think time away is really important. Dressing up for a nice night of food, maybe some dancing, is good for our relationship. It is vital to remove ourselves from the problems and mess of everyday life and to remember why we fell in love in the first place.

The fact is, I wouldn't trade my children for all of the travel in the world. They have opened up my eyes to the world in a way no vacation ever could. I have visited the Taj Mahal, the pyramids of Egypt, Machu Picchu and the Sistene Chapel, all without ever leaving the comfort of our couch. The best part? My kids get to go with me. And maybe, just maybe we'll be able to jump on a plane to visit them again.